Full Contact Magick – Part 3 – Response

I found the chapters on Water magick a little odd… Like, why were there only three chapters?  And the reading didn’t seem to flow very well, though that could just be me;  I’m a self-identified fire mage, so water magick isn’t my forte.  And that includes all the emotional stuff that water deals with.

This carries over into why I don’t do much with Water energies.  If Daring is “emotional intensity,” then admittedly I’ve muted a great many of my emotions over the years.  Though I’m not sure I’ve ever really had the self-confidence that the author references as most-conducive to successful spellcasting. Hmm…  Maybe the process of building my emotions back up will help with making magick.

The gods help those who help themselves.

I’ve never really held with the practice of prayer fixing all ills.  The gods aren’t there to solve all our problems.  I like the spiritual faith that comes up in Mercedes Lackey’s Valdemar books, as practiced by the Shin’a’in, and their Star-Eyed Goddess who (for the most part) gives her people just enough tools so they can help themselves.

For example:  Praying for more money won’t net you anything if you’re unemployed and not actively applying for jobs.  OR, you’ll get what you’re asking for, just not the way you wanted (ie, someone close to you dies & you get a life insurance payment).  You have to be really careful what you ask for.

If it was easy, everyone would do it.

As regarding fear…   Admittedly, fear is a rather large part of why I do things (or not).  I deliberately don’t experience the depth of my emotions because I kinda fear their intensity.  I don’t think about things that have happened because I don’t want to experience all the associated bad stuff.  I don’t get close to people because I fear getting hurt again and I fear losing the ones I love.  Kinda makes me wonder what form my boggart would take…

At any rate, I really really really want to travel, all over the planet, and while I get really excited about the idea, I also have a lot of fear about it.  Fear of the unknown, fear of all the bad stuff that could happen on the road… I still want to do this.  I know it’ll be good for me.  But that doesn’t stop me from being really really nervous about the whole thing…

One of my schemes is to have a sewing business, and travel between renfaires & sell the stuff I make.  Maybe I’m romanticizing the faires a bit, but I think this would be really fun.  The problems start when I remember (or someone reminds me) that I have bills to pay (damn you, student loans!).  There’s a lot of doubt wrapped up in, “Can I really make enough to pay my bills doing this?”  And I know that my family is hoping I’ll choose a more conventional way of making a living, and won’t really support me in this.  As a matter of fact, I asked my dad if he would help me build a vardo so I could travel, and he dismissed the idea before I could explain my plans.  I’m not really sure why I was so disappointed by that reaction…

“Let each of your acts be your last battle on earth.”  This.  This exactly is why I’m taking time off from school, why I’m trying to figure out what makes me happy and what to do with myself.  Life is too short to be unhappy, too brief to do work that kills your soul.

A major transformation

A major transformation

This is the image from the Death card of my Lord of the Rings tarot deck.  When I read the lines about a “little death,” this was what I immediately thought of.  It’s honestly one of the few cards I’ve memorized, despite having the deck for… at least a decade.  (It seems this one is not a very diligent student.)  Though that could be in part because the images on the cards are (mostly) incompatible with the language of my subconscious?  I’ve been debating looking for a new tarot deck lately, hopefully something whose images speak to me more.  I’d like to become better at reading tarot.  (It’s kinda embarassing, needing to look up most of the cards in a book…)

I’ve also dabbled in runes, though that went less-well than tarot.  I think I’m more inclined to use runes to enhance spells, and not as an oracle.  I can, however, read tea leaves.  I’m pants at interpreting what I see, though I suspect that’s due to not holding the altered state of consciousness long enough to attempt interpretation.

As for purification, staying hydrated is one of the bits of water magick I diligently practice.  I try to drink about three liters of water each day, depending on the weather and the day’s activity level.

Also, I do love tea.Screen shot 2015-06-27 at 9.23.15 PM

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