(Response to Full Contact Magick – Part 2)
Yes, that is yet another reference to ATLA. (Can you see a pattern with my fandoms yet?)
I agree with the author that alcohol is a mind-altering substance. I intend to write a full post about how and why I feel this way (at some point), because I have reasons. Suffice to say for now that I would never use drugs of any kind to induce a trance. (In fact, when I had my wisdom teeth out, they gave me a pill that was supposed to make me feel floaty so I wouldn’t freak out so much, and it made it worse. I freaked out & was crying & it was not a good time.)
Regarding meditation: I usually find it very hard to sit still for long periods of time, and I get bored easily (which is why I tend to not go to art museums). So I’ve had a rather spotty history with meditation. Admittedly, using a visual to help focus while learning would probably be very helpful, as I already know that moving things get my attention very easily (TV is so distracting!). My worry about this technique is that, when I’ve gazed at candle flames (for example) in the past, I tend to get the feeling of falling forward, like my mind runs the risk of getting swamped in whatever it is I’m looking at. Note: This is why I’m reluctant to stare at moving water for too long, while standing too close; I feel like I’ll be sucked under.
So I’ll probably start with candle flames. Feels safer.
On mandalas: I’d really like to get a coloring book or two of mandalas and color them in as part of a meditation. Yes, those exist. Lots of them. I saw them in a teacher’s catalog & got really excited. (I’m an adult, I swear…)
I’m hoping that next week I can start scheduling myself some daily meditation time.
Drawing Down wigs me out a bit. I have a really hard time accepting that something else would have control of my body, and I might not even remember it afterward. And while a part of me would be ok just giving myself into the hands of the gods and trusting them to not do anything stupid, most of me is too paranoid to do that right now. I have a hard time letting people borrow my car; it’s far more personal to let a god / goddess borrow my body.
I’ve never really held with grimoires, really. As I mentioned earlier, I don’t feel right about just using spells from a cookbook. They’re not personal. I’m considering giving away the spellbooks I have and just keeping the meatier books…
“Taking a Warrior name is one way to empower yourself.” I’ve turned this idea over for awhile, and I’m still having trouble choosing a name for myself. The name I chose back in high school was Eclipse (not entirely sure why, it just fit at the time). I’ve been considering names like Willow and Minerva, which now that I think about it are both names of fictional witchy characters (Buffy & Harry Potter, respectively) who can seriously kick ass. Hmmm…
I like including the Phyllis Curott quote, as I’ve read her book Witch Crafting. (I’m pretty sure I was fired from a job for reading this book during my lunch breaks.)
Habits and addictions that I think I need to work on include procrastination and food / eating habits. I’d like to be able to shift my sleeping a little bit toward sleeping midnight to 10 am or so, but as it’s almost 1 am right now this clearly needs work.
“Understanding why we have developed habits and addictions…” I think that my weird sleep schedule has something to do with procrastinating the next day. If it grew out of times where I dreaded the next day coming, then if I stayed up later I could postpone the next day. (It doesn’t actually work like that, but I still consider the time while I’m awake to be one day, and waking up starts the next day.) Which ties in with why I don’t want to take just any job; if I don’t like what I do, then I’ll dread the next day, and will lose lots of sleep and not get any happier.
Also, is it possible to be addicted to stress?? Because I procrastinate, it means that the deadlines I’m working with get really close before I really start working on things and I stress more over the thing. If I’d started sooner or worked more consistently, then that pre-deadline crush wouldn’t happen. I say that I work well under (time) pressure, but the only reason there even is pressure is my shoddy work habits. So maybe I’m addicted to the stress that procrastination brings?
I like this way of casting a circle (like Holding Ball) better than just about every other way I’ve seen it described. I have a pretty good imagination, so it’s not at all hard for me to picture blowing up a bubble of energy. The rituals I’ve tried feel too formulaic, just like the spell-cookbooks.
I’m really curious now why the author didn’t include orange on his list of color correspondences. Also, note that correspondence lists can change depending on who wrote them. What’s most important is what they mean to the individual using them. So at some point I should write up my own correspondence table.
On a semi-related note, I did strip down my charm bracelet and purify everything, only to try on the chain and discover that it’s kinda… snug. Options include waiting until I can lose some weight, or adding a couple links to it, or just getting a whole new chain. At any rate, I’ve been looking into stone beads to dangle off a bracelet as chakra charms, which I’m kinda excited about. I’m going to try to stick to stones I can identify by sight, and I already have a list of ones to look for. (Also, I was a bit surprised that I know that many types of stones.) I should keep in mind that more is not better, and try to have only 3 or so per chakra… I think I should start with the ones that I’ve felt the strongest connections to over the years, like malachite and snowflake obsidian and bloodstone.
As the seasons of Earth start with Samhain, there’s not a lot I can do with this right now, as we’re approaching Litha (about 5 months away from Samhain). However, I am going to continue trying to get my life back in order, and hopefully by Samhain I’ll have purged myself of excess stuff and have lined up enough income to keep my bills paid. Note to self: revisit this topic when Samhain gets closer.